I know what I wrote just now are so rude. I’m blaming you for something that most people in the world would also do. I’m sorry yet I am not truly sorry. It is just a mixed feeling. When you say something about masjid and quran, it is like pouring salt into old wound.
Honestly, I am angry. Angry at how the people of my own religion tends to look down at people who has an illness like me…. the mentally ill people. Even famous scholar, mufti Menk in one of his preach said once “depression has no place in Islam because Islam made people happy”. So what am I then? What are we then? Non Muslims? Non Believer?
People might not know this, the tiny faith that is left in out heart might be brighter than the faith shining through their entire body. People would never know how difficult it is for that tiny faith to stop us from taking our own life, to harm ourselves in any way. So please, do not judge us.
I’m not sure if you will ever read this entry. But I’m really sorry for my rudeness. I intentionally made you my punch bag tonight. No excuses will ever justify my action. You are always nice and lovely, too nice in fact. I would totally understand if you want me to see other doctor in the future.